in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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