my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I want to fling myself into the sun
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
