You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
