Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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