I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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