i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
