Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
