DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
