Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
