Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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