you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize