I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
