i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
