i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
is wine microwaveable?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
