I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize