Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
