i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
