she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
