you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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