I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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