I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
