things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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