we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
