a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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