I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
