Will you blow on my dice?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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