it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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