Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Randomize
