yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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