So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
