I am full of burrito and curiosity
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
