Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
