I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
operation harelip BJ is a go
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
