What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
