Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
