I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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