Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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