I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
