Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
