if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
