just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize