i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
