two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
