Are we in a gay sports bar?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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