Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
