More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
