The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
