this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
