Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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