I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize