He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
