no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think your dad took our porno
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
