i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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