so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
