Where is the hickey?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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