Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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