so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
