your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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