Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize