it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
