she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Girls should come with a carfax report
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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